bonus

A common complaint among people who have jobs like mine is the lack of communication. I happen to share this complaint. There are days when you'll walk into work anticipating a normal day, only to be told that, oh, you need to make and give writing and speaking tests to all of your classes today. Today was one of those days.

It actually started yesterday, but it wasn't about making and giving tests. A couple of my middle school year 1 students are participating in an English debate at their middle school. Since they go to my academy, this is a chance to show off just how well they've mastered the English language because of us. They've been given 5 topics that they must debate. They aren't told which side of each issue they will have to defend, so they must prepare 10 potential arguments. I was given the 5 topics and asked to write three arguments for each side. So, 30 talking points. The topics were: Should schools ban cell phones, Should student athletes have the same academic standards as non-athletes, Does society encourage cosmetic surgery, Should the government regulate online gaming, and one other topic that I can't remember. I had about 30 minutes to type up my talking points, so they were all off the top of my head. I did it, and that was that, or so I thought.

Today I waltz into work, happy as a someone whose favorite NBA team-whom they've spent $120 to watch all year and have woken up early to watch every game - has just won their first round playoff series. My boss quickly informed me that needed to expand on my talking points. Now I had to type up a full paragraph detailing each point. I had about 90 minutes to do this- to type up 30 paragraphs of opinions which I'd put little thought into. I did it. But here's the thing. I was an English major. If there's one thing I know how to do, it's write a university level opinion paper. However, what I don't know how to do is word such a paper so that it sounds like a middle school Korean student came up with it. I had to use words and phrases that you and I would have no problem with, but that even my Korean co-teachers wouldn't understand. This apparently was not a problem, because the plan was for the students to simply memorize what I wrote, without actually knowing what it means.

Later I was told that in the evening I would have to meet with this team of 3 students to teach them how to present these arguments.

After I did that, I was further informed that I needed to expand on my already written arguments, to make them take at least a minute to speak. Also, I was told, I had to write concluding statements for each argument, that would take at least 2 minutes to speak. By the time I was finished, I had written a 15 page paper, covering arguments for and against 5 topics, of which I'd done no research. Had I known this when I walked into work today I would've scoured Korea for as much Adderall as I could find.

I finished at about 10pm. My boss gave me a pat on my shoulder, and told me she'd be giving me a bonus for this. Now I just wish I could be there when these kids present these well-reasoned and excellently worded arguments.