ideal

Someday when I'm rich and famous and the world acknowledges this blog that I keep as being the pinnacle of humanity's literary output, I imagine people will probably want to ask me questions about it.  I'll stay relatively low key, maybe just give one interview to Charlie Rose, or Ira Glass.

In such an interview, one question will certainly be about which of the posts I wrote was my favorite. To said question, I might respond thusly: "Well, Charlie/Ira, one might just as well query God which of his creations he most favors. See, I don't consider my Work to be something that is consumed, rated, or enjoyed. Rather I see it as pixels on a computer screen that I invigorate, and which then gleam out into the world, through people's eyes and into their heads where they interact with their brain matter and forever alter the course of people's lives. Having said all that, with the proverbial gun to my head, I suppose I'd say the high water mark was the time I transcribed Tupac's story about feuding gangs of kangaroos. I wonder now about Tupac. I guess these days he'd be just about finishing high school or beginning college, but I digress..."

What I'm trying to say is that Tupac's story is the best thing that a student of mine has ever produced, until today.

I'm not really sure how to introduce this. It was written by a 9th grader, who I'll just call "J". As you'll be able to tell, his English ability is excellent. There's not much else to add, other than that I'm still 50/50 on whether he's serious or not. He's a charismatic kid who likes to joke around, and he's actually quit my academy so I'll never be able to ask him about this.  But, without further ado, I present J's thoughts on his ideal girl:

Everybody likes girls if you are a normal guy. Then, who is your ideal girl? Some idiots don't know what the real beauty they want. But I have certain points of feminine attraction: body, face, behaving. Now, I'm gonna tell you about my ideal girl.

 First, let's talk about body points. She has to be 170cm tall. Because I'm 170cm tall right now and I'm still growing. I expect I might grow 5cm more. So, supposed that she's 170cm, now she has to be busty and keep a thin shape. I'm going to tell you why. Because that is all boy's ideal body. The body part is finished.

 Now, let's talk about her face. She has clear double eyelid that everyone doubts that she had a surgery. Actually, I don't care whether she had surgery or not. Her nose seems to be Western even if she's an Asian. Her chin has to keep the V-line and that's all I want for her. 

 Lastly, let's observe her behaving. She wears Prada, Balmain, and Givenchy. She's so sexy. Totally, she's over-consumed, but I love those behaving. Because her behaving like that makes me earn much more money. Finally, she likes to go casino and being drunken with grumbling. I also like those, too. So we drunk and grumble about each other for 3 hours at a bar.

 Now I can say she's my fiancee and the most beautiful girl.