wait

There are a couple of common gripes that westerners have about living in Korea. For the most part they are stupid and inconsequential, but, over time, aggravating. Any kind of blog or journal written by someone in my situation will probably mention them.

There's one in particular which I've never written about here, because it's such a common complaint to hear from people over here. I guess I've always felt that it would be a lazy and easy thing for me to write about, kinda the equivalent of a national sportswriter writing an article about Philadelphia fans and spending a few paragraphs on how they once threw snowballs at Santa.

But then I realized this is a stupid and inconsequential blog, and perhaps my editing process is a bit too stringent. So, on with the lazy and histrionic complaints about a minor annoyance from an ungrateful expatriate!

3 paragraphs of introduction to get to this: Koreans need to learn how to fuckin' wait in line.

I get it. There's 50 million people in this relatively small country. That's the excuse people will give you when you complain about this. But you know what, just because there's a lot of people here doesn't mean that while I'm waiting in line to get on the hospital shuttle bus the person behind me needs to be so close that our pelvises are actually touching. I mean, that's just crazy. And when I try to inch forward to get away from this person, and they inch forward as well, until soon I'm connected at both sides of the hip to strangers...this is something that doesn't need to happen.

The same sort of thing frequently occurs in a check-out line. Just yesterday I was at a corner store buying some essentials. There's one guy behind me in line, and of course he's right on top of me. As I'm receiving my change, he begins reaching over my shoulder so he can put his items on the counter. I turn and give him the Really?!? Seriously?!? look, but what the hell does he care, you know? (Also, if while waiting in line, you're not directly on top of the person in front of you, you can fully expect for someone to cut in line and cram themselves into the foot of space you've been enjoying.)

The one that really, really drives me mental is elevator decorum. A society should have no trouble using elevators. People get off, people get on. Repeat. It's simple, but here it's too much to ask.

Here's how I get on an elevator: I'll hit the button to call the elevator. I'll kinda walk around a bit and wait for it to get to my floor. When it does, I'll wait for people to get off the elevator, then I'll get on.

Here's how a Korean gets on an elevator: They'll call for the elevator, and stand directly in front of the door, so close that their nose may or may not be touching it. When the door begins to open, they immediately enter before anyone can even get off the damn thing. As a result, the act of getting onto an elevator now needlessly includes getting jostled against a wall or into a stranger.

Alright, that's all. Just had to air some grievances here. Apologies for the banal post. I promise to return as soon as possible to writing about how I don't do anything anymore.