least favorites

I have two least favorite students. I'm going to tell you two stories about them which will hopefully illustrate why I can't stand them.

First up is "Thomas". Even though he's only 12, Thomas has the kind of face I'd pay good money to punch. He also never shuts up and whines all the time. He's in a class full of misfits. That's not to say that they are all stupid, because they actually have learned quite a bit. But none of them are the ideal, well-behaved kid. They each have strong personalities. I like them.

These kids give each other a lot of shit. There's a lot of teasing and the like. Thomas gives it out as much as anyone else, to the point where a few months back another kid's dad, who's a cop, came in and bitched out Thomas for teasing his kid too much on the bus. The thing Thomas gets teased about is that he loves a former student. Now, the former student in question was called "Sunny" and was a bull of a young lady. She could've probably kicked my ass if she'd wanted to. All the kids were terrified of her, so it's not exactly the type of person you want people saying you're in love with. But, that's what a joke is.

Yesterday, while reading in our book, the word "sunny" pops up. Whenever this has happened in the past it triggers the kids to make all the old jokes and accusations again about Thomas. I wanted to diffuse this because we had a lot to do, so I just said matter of factly, "Yes, I know, Thomas loves Sunny." Thomas immediately shouts, "Nooooo!" as though I'd just told him his dog had been beaten to death and eaten by a couple guys across the street. His face twists and mangles in the most pathetic and annoying way possible, and he begins sobbing.

This shit drives me mental. Here's a 12 year old boy, in a room full of other kids his age, and he has no qualms about flying off the handle and crying like a baby. As a former 12 year old boy myself, that is inconceivable and unforgivable.

To top it off, today Thomas comes up to me and says, seriously, "Don't kid with me." Taking full advantage of the fact that he won't understand a word I say to him, I reply, "You need to grow some balls, Thomas." Boom! Take that, 12-year old kid!

So, I don't like Thomas.

I also don't like "Dorothy".

She's maybe 10 years old. She's a chubby little pig who picks her nose and smells like hell. Read that last sentence again. If I'm not allowed to have that as a least favorite student, well then maybe I'm in the wrong business because I can't deal with that shit.

The other day I'm teaching her class, and Dorothy has a chocolate bar with her. I tell her to put it away, because there's no candy in class, but you know how fat kids are with their candy. A little later in class, half of her candy bar gets bumped off the table and shatters on the ground. Dorothy's face twists into its fattest and most heartbroken. She stares at her pieces of chocolate and begins sobbing. It was as though she had just found her dog's freshly beaten and devoured carcass.

She gets up and slowly mopes around her desk. She delicately picks up each piece of her shattered dream and cradles it in her hands. She sits back down, still sobbing, staring woefully at the chocolate. I look at her and I see a glint in her eyes, a glint that says, "When no one else is around, I'm still gonna totally cram this filth into my face."

Maybe I'm becoming a heartless bastard, but I don't think so. When other, less annoying kids cry, for other, less annoying reasons, it still breaks me up. It's just...some kids, man. Some kids.